TV Jots

Make Way for The Closer!

Monday | June 8

The Closer: Season 5 begins with a harrowing mass murder and one former cast member gone.
[Products of Discovery, TNT, 9pm]

Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List: Season 5 opens, and for some reason, dear Kathy doesn’t seem so inferior anymore.
[Place Your Bette, Bravo, 10pm]

Raising the Bar: Season 2 begins with a welcome major hairdo redo for a series star.
[Hair Apparent, TNT, 10pm]

Weeds: It’s high time — every pun intended — for a fifth season of Nancy Botwin and her many adventures in dope-hood.
[Wonderful Wonderful, Showtime, 10pm]

Nurse Jackie: Sopranos alumna Edie Falco has a new comedy show, and this is the episode that starts it all.
[Pilot, Showtime, 10:30pm]

Tuesday | June 9

Mental: Recently deceased Kung Fu and Kill Bill star David Carradine guests as a famous author and academic who becomes catatonic after lightning strikes him and kills his wife. Definitely the must-see TV episode of the week, even if I don’t like the series.
[Book of Judges, Fox, 9pm]

Food Party: Who doesn’t love food and comedy? Check out this kooky newcomer, which is based on a Web series, if you’re a fan of one or both.
[Thu Become One, IFC, 11:15pm]

Wrong Door: All I can tell you is this comedy show comes to America via the United Kingdom’s BBC Worldwide, and it’s way weird.
[A bioweapons lab creates the world's most annoying creature, IFC, 11:30pm]

Wednesday | June 10

Top Chef Masters: The fun, instructive, and acclaimed competition Top Chef spins off into a cooking series featuring 24 famous chefs in culinary battle. Scrumptious!
[Masters Get Schooled, Bravo, 10pm]

The Unusuals: A cop’s dream case, I’m sure: investigating the murder of a person who liked walking around naked in public. There’s just one more episode left for the canceled series after this one. *sniffle*
[The Apology Line, ABC, 10:01pm]

Thursday | June 11

Burn Notice: Team Michael attempts to rescue a kidnapped child, and I hope many crooks get maimed in the process.
[Question and Answer, USA Network, 9pm]

Royal Pains: Dr. Hank takes on the case of a junk food-filled ballerina.
[Strategic Planning, USA Network, 10pm]

Friday | June 12

Surviving Suburbia: For whatever reason, ABC is giving this awful Bob Saget “comedy” yet another chance to bore viewers to tears. And to think of all the shows canceled or never picked up, while embarrassingly bad stuff like this gets reprieve after reprieve. How much you wanna bet a second season is coming, too?
[Dirty Stevie, ABC, 8pm]

The Goode Family: And another reprieve goes to this new animated series. I’ve never watched, so I can’t comment on its quality or lack thereof.
[Helen's Back, ABC, 8:30pm]

Saturday | June 13

Kings: The canceled Ian McShane drama returns to complete airing its 13 produced episodes, if it actually manages to get through the remaining seven. Bet you thought it wasn’t coming back!
[Brotherhood, NBC, 8pm]

Harper’s Island: This murder mystery drama is so much mindless fun, I hate the show was axed. It’s perfect summer TV, if you ask me (but, of course, nobody has or ever will).
[Seep, CBS, 9pm]

Pushing Daisies: And the final episode of the final season of the series premieres. So long, my inventive technicolor crime dramedy!
[Kerplunk, ABC, 10pm]

Sunday | June 14

True Blood: Season 2 of Sookie’s southern bloodsucking adventures begins. Makes me wish I was willing to waste money on an HBO subscription.
[Nothing but the Blood, HBO, 9pm]

Hammertime: Yes, as in Stanley “MC Hammer” Burrell, he of the shiny parachute pants that you can’t touch. Someone gave him an hourlong reality TV show, where you can learn all about him, his personal business, his professional business, and his family. Yay! [/sarcasm]
[Shaping Up!, A&E, 10pm]