NB: Ted Danson, 3 lbs., and Golden Globes
Ted Danson’s New CBS Sitcom Goes Bye-Bye
Bad news for poor Ted Danson. First he saw the audience for his new sitcom Help Me Help You decimated after the show’s ultra popular Tuesday-night lead-in, Dancing with the Stars, finished its season in mid-November. Then he received the news, along with the rest of us, that ABC has taken away his license to help anybody anymore—at least on network TV for the rest of this year. This development is made even more awful by the alphabet network’s chosen replacement, Big Day, another woefully ratings-challenged rookie sitcom with a fabulous star, Wendie Malick, who deserves much better. Who develops these duds? And more importantly, why not just leave Ted and his peeps alone? At least his show was actually funny and unique. Malick’s is just doofy and, well, to be kind, sophomoric.
3 lbs. Fans Gain Three Episodes
Enjoyed 3 lbs., CBS’ recent blatant rip-off of Fox’s House, before it was unceremoniously dumped? The gods and goddesses are on your side, then, because CBS has now made three of the remaining five produced episodes of the Stanley Tucci-helmed show available at the online streaming site Innertube. Six out of eight total installments aired ain’t half bad for a clone. Surf over to Innertube quick and catch ‘em before they’re gone forever.
More Fun Handicapping Winners: The 64th Golden Globe Awards Nominees, Part 1
Whoo-hoo! Awards season is now officially in full swing, and before we know it, Oscar and Emmy time will be upon us again. So what have the most recent slew of Golden Globe nominations given us to slobber over? Herewith, the most important nominees in the first half of the most important categories in the most important medium, TV (tomorrow I’ll cover the other five of the eleven categories):
BEST TELEVISION SERIES—DRAMA
- 24 (Fox)
- Big Love (HBO)
- Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
- Heroes (NBC)
- Lost (ABC)
- I am such a Heroes whore, so I’ll make this short and sweet. Last year’s winner, Lost, can get lost. It’s all the way in 2006 for Heroes, baby.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES—DRAMA
- Patricia Arquette, Medium
- Edie Falco, The Sopranos
- Evangeline Lilly, Lost
- Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy
- Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
- I dare ya to guess who won this last year. … … … Okay, give up? It was Geena Davis of the oh so hot, oh so cold Commander In Chief. What was up with the sledgehammer-ish downfall of that series? Arquette and Sedgwick both had the honor of being beaten, as well, while Falco and Pompeo are fresh faces this time around. As much as I like her in real life, if Pompeo takes the statuette for playing that whiny, irritating-as-hell Meredith Grey, I’m moving to Namibia. (Yeah, right.) And Lilly?! Suuure, she’s got a really good chance. —wink, wink-nudge, nudge— That said, my fake money’s on Sedgwick, who is simply outstanding in The Closer. After only two years, I cannot even come close to imagining anyone else inhabiting the title role as well as she does. Sedgwick is Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES—DRAMA
- Patrick Dempsey, Grey’s Anatomy
- Michael C. Hall, Dexter
- Hugh Laurie, House
- Bill Paxton, Big Love
- Kiefer Sutherland, 24
- Snubbed by the Emmys but loved by the Globes, Laurie aced this category last year, to the delight of curmudgeon lovers worldwide. And, of course, Sutherland racked up at the Emmys. Still, I’m gonna root for Michael C. Hall anyway, just for putting all those serial killers six feet under in his freshman series Dexter. Whoever came up with the morbid premise for that show has my undying adoration for life.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES—COMEDY OR MUSICAL
- Desperate Housewives (ABC)
- Entourage (HBO)
- The Office (NBC)
- Ugly Betty (ABC)
- Weeds (Showtime)
- Last year they said Desperate Housewives and the Emmys said The Office. This year, however, I say Ugly Betty, which couldn’t be more beautiful. Guys everywhere are probably rooting for Entourage, though, so we’ll see.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES—COMEDY OR MUSICAL
- Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
- America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
- Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
- Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
- This category might as well have been officially named BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES last year since all four lead actresses—Cross, Hatcher, Huffman, and Longoria—were up for the honor, with Parker the lone standout. Good thing for Parker then that there were no Housewives snobs responsible for picking the winner because she ultimately triumphed. But what do I care? This is 2006, and all of my cheers are going to the one and only America Ferrera. Sure, last year’s winner of the Emmy counterpart, Louis-Dreyfus, is a hoot, as are the remaining three ladies. But America? Every week on Ugly Betty, she delivers big time, and she’s so refreshing and talented to boot. Let’s hear it for the youth.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES—COMEDY OR MUSICAL
- Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
- Zach Braff, Scrubs
- Steve Carell, The Office
- Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl
- Tony Shalhoub, Monk
- Well, what can I say here? Is it not great that each and every one of these nominees is not only funny, but totally deserving of such an honor? Last year’s picks Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men) have been supplanted by Baldwin and Shalhoub, the last of whom has had a stranglehold on this category at the Emmys for three of the last four years, going all the way back to Monk‘s debut season. Could he win at the Globes? Definitely. But I’m still saving all my love for Alec Baldwin, the absolute bestest best thing about Tina Fey’s rookie ride, 30 Rock. Of course, I won’t shed a single tear if Braff, Carell (last year’s recipient), Lee, or Shalhoub win either. Like I said—all five, very funny, most deserving.
Photos courtesy of CBS and NBC
