Million Dollar Listing: Hard Sell in a Bull Reality Market
Just What the World Needs—Yet Another TV Show about Rich People and Their Expensive Possessions
I cannot believe that I’ve wasted an entire hour of my life that I can never get back watching Bravo’s new luxury-real-estate reality series, Million Dollar Listing, but I did, and now I must write about it. The premise of the show is to give viewers a rare opportunity to witness the sale of a “hot,” expensive piece of property from the moment it goes on sale until its purchase is closed. Although numerous California-based real-estate agents who specialize in upscale property will get their turn in the spotlight over the course of the six-part series, the pilot focuses on two, Malibu’s 25-year-old wunderkind, Madison Hildebrand, and Hollywood’s high-maintenance human Barbie doll, Shannon McLeod.
In the premiere episode, viewers are introduced to each as they ply their trade and attempt to make thousands of dollars in commission on the sale of a single home. Both encounter several obstacles along the way that endanger their efforts, thereby giving rise to what would normally be called dramatic tension if only the audience cared what happened one way or the other. Hildebrand experiences the pangs of representing a seller who decides to accept a second deal after a prior preliminary deal has already been struck with an eager buyer, while McLeod is forced to cope with the tension and potential repercussions—not the least of which is the loss of a $100,000+ commission—of representing both the seller (who happens to be her recent and still emotionally-attached ex-fiancé) and the buyer in a real-estate transaction, a practice that is illegal in most states besides California. Interspersed throughout the scenes are screen tips designed to clarify the significance of certain terms and minutiae that presumably dimwitted viewers would otherwise not comprehend.
Will each homeowner manage to sale their overpriced property that the majority of Americans couldn’t even afford in their wildest, most demented dreams and make an obscenely large profit? Does anyone who doesn’t already have a gazillion bucks in the bank or an equivalent-sized trust fund care? Aside from the curious incident of the buxom broad who shows up at McLeod’s first open house although she and her husband just closed on a house down the street, the premiere episode of Million Dollar Listing doesn’t even have enough spark to light a cigarette. Moreover, unlike some so-bad-they’re-actually-good reality shows, it’s not enjoyable for the sake of trashiness alone because the main players and the situations we see them in are minimally entertaining, and what little drama emerges is gauze-thin.
Whether or not this series works boils down to one question: would you chose either of the real-estate agents featured to represent you if you had a pricey home in need of selling or if you wanted to buy one? The answer is an unmistakable, “No,” on both counts for me after watching the pilot, and so is my opinion on whether this series is worth anyone’s but the most diehard real-estate groupie’s time.
The Verdict: D
Million Dollar Listing currently airs Tuesdays at 9pm EST on Bravo
Million Dollar Listing photo courtesy of Bravo
