Laila, who accomplished a spectacular feat of her own by managing to survive past the first three rounds (when all of the other female contenders, save ballyhooed Brit Heather Mills, were quickly booted) came in third, while entertaining show-off Joey, the contestant with the most pre-Stars dancing experience due to his boy band days in ‘N Sync, was runner-up.

Although I was not as enamored with Apolo as quickly as the rest of the American public, in the last few weeks his performances did finally start to earn my praise. Julianne was never an issue, however, because anyone who isn’t blind can immediately appreciate just how big and bright a ball of sheer talent she is. Her choreography especially was a continual delight from week to week, even when I disagreed with everyone else and thought Apolo looked out of his league. But then, Dancing with the Stars is not so much about being the best dancer as it is about dancing the best that you can. In the latter respect, Apolo delivered more consistently than any other celebrity this time around. Congratulations to him.

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough photo courtesy of WireImage.com

Tags: Apolo Ohno, Dancing with the Stars, Julianne Hough, reality tv, television, tv

The younger Ali is, of course, the only female celebrity still standing in this fourth season of competition following the exit of controversial Heather Mills two rounds ago. Given Laila’s spot-on performances thus far—none of which give the slightest hint that she wasn’t born with a pair of dancing shoes welded to her feet—the undefeated world champion in women’s boxing will likely last until the final stages of the competition with her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, where she has an excellent chance of adding one more title to her already sizable stash.

The elder Ali suffers from Parkinson’s disease, which has been public knowledge since his diagnosis in 1983. His wife Lonnie will accompany him to the event, where they will appear alongside Laila’s mother Veronica Porsche Anderson and her fiancé Curtis Conway, a former star NFL wide receiver. If you hadn’t planned to watch the show, Muhammad Ali’s attendance is one magnificent reason to make an exception for at least one episode.

Related Posts: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Muhammad and Laila Ali photo courtesy of the Associated Press

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Laila Ali, Muhammad Ali, reality tv, television, tv

John’s talented partner Edyta Sliwinska (the lone four-season veteran pro dancer), whom I came to like more and more each week as she continually did a great job keeping the oldest amateur hoofer this year—John turned 60 on April 6—alive in the competition, made a very nice goodbye speech in which she thanked her partner for teaching *her* a lot. How gracious when it was only because of Edyta that John managed to steadily improve and shine so well near the end.

We all know that the main reason Billy Ray was spared is because he has a larger fan base than John and other stars who’ve long been gone. I’ve felt it’s been time for him to hang up his self-professed hillbilly dancing shoes for a few weeks now, so the only suspense that remains is whether or not he, aided by his partner Karina Smirnoff‘s crafty choreography, will manage to help snuff a better contender next week. Aside from him, there are no more bad dancers left in the bunch to easily target. Will Billy Ray stay, or will he go? And if he doesn’t, who among Laila, Joey, Ian, and Apolo will? As far as I’m concerned, those are the only two questions worth contemplating at the moment when it comes to Dancing with the Stars. Until next week…

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Edyta Sliwinska, John Ratzenberger, reality tv, television, tv

As much as I hate the reality that last night’s outcome leaves only one woman in the running for the title, boxer Laila Ali, I can’t protest Heather’s dismissal. She was in both my own and the show’s Bottom 2, as was John Ratzenberger and his partner Edyta Sliwinska. If I had had to choose between the two participants, though, I likewise would have saved John, whom the judge’s were pretty hard on in their comments, and who’s more entertaining to watch perform.

Heather, who received a full standing ovation, knew what was coming given last week’s poor results standing and the previous night’s scores from the judges (she took special care to mention the lowest, a 7, that Carrie Ann Inaba doled out, as compared to the 8s from Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli). She therefore arrived prepared with a pre-written goodbye speech that thanked the public; expressed gratitude to her dancing partner-teacher Jonathan, who she regrets will no longer receive pay now that he and his celebrity have placed out; and praised the “hundreds of thousands” (I presume in pounds) her participation has earned for animal-related charities. Maybe Heather got around to wishing her former fellow competitors well following her quip about viewers going vegan if they can and during the emotional group hug she was inevitably subjected to when the “last dance” was supposed to be taking place (I don’t even know why the cohosts bother mentioning it anymore since I haven’t seen a voted-off couple actually perform a legitimate final dance at the end of an elimination this season).

But that’s not why I believe this was the best results show thus far in the fourth year. While it was nice to see an encore of the crowded yet fun group Swing routine, the guests were who raised the bar, namely British soul siren Joss Stone, who grooved the crowd with two songs—the first of which featured some jammin’ dancing from Tony Dovolani (former partner of ousted daytime talker Leeza Gibbons), Elena Grinenko (former partner of basketball’s Clyde Drexler, cut last week), Julianne Hough (lucky speed skater Apolo Ohno’s partner), and Julianne’s brother and fellow professional dancer Derek—and the cast members from the Academy Award-winning feature film Dreamgirls, who literally danced up a storm, old-school style.

The “Dance Along at Home with Jimmy Kimmel” segment was also as reliably funny as ever, with talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel and his parking-lot security guard Guillermo, apparently back together after the spat last week that sent the guard into the arms of celeb Joey Fatone, showing how to properly execute the slow-slow-quick-quick Foxtrot, assisted by a bit of special effects work from the camera crew, Heather’s partner Jonathan, and someone else I couldn’t identify impersonating Guillermo. I must note, however, that the fact that Stone sang two numbers, no matter how spectacular, is proof positive that it’s time for ABC to cut the results show down to thirty minutes, especially now that almost half of the stars are reclining at home watching instead of taking to the stage to bust some moves.

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Heather Mills, Jonathan Roberts, reality tv, television, tv

Otherwise, the episode was a typical hodgepodge of more- or less-accomplished routines and alternatively biting and doting commentary from the judges. The two celebrities who ended the night tied with the highest score awarded of 28, namely Laila and her “flippee” Apolo, both received a perfect 10 from a customarily high-spirited Bruno Tonioli.

Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson—Samba

• Joey pulled some of his old boy-band moves in this fantastic number that started the night off on an excellent, energetic note, making it clear that the visit by Season 3 competitor Jerry Springer during rehearsal worked like a charm helping Joey and Kym take their dancing up another notch. The three judges mostly agreed. Head judge Len Goodman called the routine a “great performance,” although Carrie Ann Inaba noted some problems with the footwork at the end, and Bruno Tonioli pointed out that they “messed it up a little bit.” It was an emphatic 9 for me, nonetheless.
• Score: 9 (Carrie Ann), 9 (Len), 9 (Bruno) = 27/30 Points

Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts—Paso Doble

• Winding up in the Bottom 2 with her partner last week after a fall that many felt she faked, Heather had a lot to make up for despite the lengthy transatlantic commute she now has between London and California (which caused her to miss the group Swing rehearsal and only start learning the dance the day before the celebrities debuted it). I didn’t like this performance at all, although the couple did get a standing ovation. Heather looked unprepared and unsteady on her feet, and it also seemed like she kept her mouth agape the whole time for no obvious reason. The performance, the worst one from Heather and Jonathan by far, in my opinion, was no better than a 6 in my opinion. Bruno gloated, as usual, about Heather getting better every week, while Carrie Ann seemed to pick up on what I did when she noted that regardless of her generally favorable impression, something still seemed to be missing. Len liked the routine also, but agreed with Carrie Ann that Heather needs to work on her upper body and posture.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 23/30 Points

John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska—Mambo

• John was booked up this week with his voice work for Pixar animated films and complained mightily about how little time he had to learn the Mambo routine, which is all about footwork and hip action. Well, unfortunately, John’s lack of time showed when he hit the dance floor and, according to head judge Len, “waddled out like a duck.” Bruno piled on the criticism, as well, noting the “major technical problems,” while a kind-hearted Carrie Ann simply pointed out the problematic footwork despite John looking like a cute “little dancing teddy bear.” Sure, the choreography was low on professional-style moves, but, as always, John and Edyta seemed like they were having a really good time, which counts for quite a lot. I gave the duo a 6.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 6 (Len), 6 (Bruno) = 19/30 Points

Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy—Cha Cha Cha

• Determined to put some funk in her Cha Cha to avoid doing the same old stale steps again, Laila convinced Maksim to join in her quest, and they then proceeded to turn the audience out with the indisputable best performance of the show. It was a 10 all the way for me, the crowd that got on their feet at the end, and Bruno, who thought Laila was stunning and magnificent. Party poopers Carrie Ann and Len gave the couple measly 9s, the first advising Laila to keep her eyes up while dancing (she did look down too much) and Len sharing his displeasure with the final funkified portion of the routine, although he still felt Laila was “pure gold.” [And let me record for all of posterity how cohost Samantha Harris gave away Laila and Maksim's total score of 28/30 before the judges actually revealed them onscreen. Her explanation was that she could hear the results, presumably through an earpiece, beforehand.]
• Score: 9 (Carrie Ann), 9 (Len), 10 (Bruno) = 28/30 Points

Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff—Jive

• Karina’s goal with her choreography this week was to get Billy Ray to have some fun while performing, not worry so much about doing the steps correctly. Did she succeed? Heck, yeah. Although Billy Ray will probably never look like a natural dancer, no matter how much time and effort he devotes to practicing, the steps that Karina included were less rigid and traditional, allowing Billy Ray to improvise his own variations on several occasions. The singer-actor seemed to have a particular fondness for what Karina called the “Who’s Your Daddy,” a forward and backward hip-thrusting move. The result was a smoother, more entertaining presentation that I think deserved a solid 7, one point away from Billy Ray’s goal score of an 8. After Bruno commented that “the crazy bear has been let loose,” he confirmed that Billy Ray did do some steps that were relevant to the Jive. Carrie Ann loved the new moves that Billy Ray improvised and appreciated the fact that his obvious efforts have won everyone over. Len basically stated that despite Billy Ray’s lack of dancing talent, he still loves watching his entertaining performances.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno) = 21/30 Points

Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough—Rumba

• During rehearsal, not only was Julianne sick, but Apolo was having a bit of a tough time channeling the sexy vibe that performing the Rumba requires. Julianne’s brother Derek Hough, who’s also a professional dancer, stopped by, then, to help the skater with the second problem and get him into the right frame of mind for the romantic dance. As usual, I thought the performance was great primarily because of Julianne’s enormous talent, while Apolo was customarily somewhat stiff and unimpressive, leading to my score of 8. Carrie Ann liked the beauty of the dance and the fact that, after receiving a perfect score last week, the pair delivered again. Len and Bruno, who got into an involved argument, disagreed. Len received the performance well, but he thought it was too theatrical and relied on the use of a chair too much. Bruno gushed like he always does when commenting on Apolo’s work, declaring the routine a fresh, artistic, inventive poem that took risks.
• Score: 9 (Carrie Ann), 9 (Len), 10 (Bruno) = 28/30 Points

Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke—Paso Doble

• Despite Ian’s assertions during rehearsal that he would devote his efforts to perfecting his showmanship this time around, I thought the performance was one of his least appealing. His body language not only seemed more rigid than ever, but he also just didn’t move well, appearing hesitant and off-beat on some steps, probably a side effect of continuing to overthink his actions. The judges were disappointed, as well, with Len claiming that the performance lacked drama and that he didn’t like Ian’s posture and arms. Following their dispute only minutes earlier, Bruno still agreed completely, also confessing his disappointment that Ian is not breaking free of his safety net and taking risks. Carrie Ann, certain that Ian has what it takes to last in the competition, tried to help with the constructive suggestion that Ian pay attention to the exuberance, focus, passion, and heart that less talented Billy Ray brings to his performances. I think Carrie Ann gave very good advice, and my score was a 7.
• Score: 8 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 24/30 Points

Judges’ Leaderboard for Week 6

1. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [28/30]
   Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [28/30]
2. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [27/30]
3. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [24/30]
4. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [23/30]
5. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [21/30]
6. John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [19/30]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Week 6

1. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [10/10]
2. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [9/10]
3. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [8/10]
4. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [7/10]
   Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [7/10]
5. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [6/10]
   John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [6/10]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Weeks 1–6

1. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [51/60]
2. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [50/60]
3. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [47/60]
4. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [42/60]
5. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [40/60]
6. John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [35/60]
7. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [31/60]

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Dancing with the Stars photo/image courtesy of ABC

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, reality tv, television, tv

The biggest surprise, to me at least, wasn’t that Clyde and Elena got deep sixed, but that Heather Mills and her partner Jonathan Roberts were the other couple in the bottom two. There are more than a few people who believe that the estranged Mrs. McCartney faked the fall at the end of her Monday-night performance in order to drum up sympathy. Whether that’s true or not, the voting results made it clear that Heather is not as loved as the other amateur dancers in the competition, so she had better be on her best behavior from here on out. We’re already down to just two female celebrities; if she goes, Laila Ali would have to represent the fairer sex all by her lonesome.

As predicted in my Week 5 recap, the judges selected Olympic speed skater Apolo Ohno and his partner Julianne Hough to reprise their perfectly scored Samba from the previous night, and the infectiously bubbly couple brought the house down once again. Other notable moments included Season 2 fourth-place finisher Lisa Rinna dancing a man-happy ditty from her forthcoming Broadway debut in the Tony-winning musical Chicago; the look of sheer joy, relief, and shock on pro hoofer Edyta Sliwinska’s face when it was revealed that she and her partner John Ratzenberger were the week’s second safe couple (I knew that was going to happen because the pair’s performance Monday night was just too much fun for them to get the boot this time around, let alone wind up in the bottom two for the second week in a row); and Grammy-winning soul singer Macy Gray dedicating her music number to the victims of Monday’s Virginia Tech massacre.

Last but certainly not least, while demonstrating how to dance the Swing during the “Dance Along at Home with Jimmy Kimmel” segment, late-night yakker Jimmy Kimmel lost the affections of his parking-lot security guard Guillermo, who retreated to the bathroom for some private time with his new love, Joey Fatone, to the moving melody of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon‘s star-crossed lovers them. Then, after revealing Clyde’s last-place finish, co-host Tom Bergeron closed the drawn-out hour with the announcement that the celebs will dance together for the first time next week. Now if only ABC would whittle the results show down to a more reasonable thirty minutes instead of an unnecessary sixty. A good place to start would be eliminating those minimally interesting but much too long behind-the-scenes montages, such as the long-winded makeup and hairstyling documentary viewers were treated to this week.

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Clyde Drexler, Dancing with the Stars, Elena Grinenko, reality tv, television, tv

Be that as it may, the couples who wound up having to fake a love story for viewers—namely, Laila Ali, Billy Ray Cyrus, Clyde Drexler, and Joey Fatone—did the best they could I imagine, with varying results. Those couples who got lucky with the Samba were a different lot entirely, however, all delivering performances that were energetic, fun to watch, and entertaining from beginning to end. First up was two-time champ Cheryl Burke and dependable, focused Beverly Hills, 90210 alum Ian Ziering.

Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke—Samba

• After a brief tiff over shimmying moves that Ian was uncomfortable with, he and Cheryl proceeded to dance their butts off, bringing some audience members to their feet for the first standing ovation of the night. The duo’s swiveling hip movements, which judge Bruno Tonioli described as being like a “power tool” at times, were particularly eye-catching. Ian and Cheryl were inarguably my favorite performers of the fifth performance round, although I do agree with judge Carrie Ann Inaba’s assessment that Ian thinks about his dancing way too much. If he would just stop concentrating so hard and get looser, he could—as head judge Len Goodman wants—rise above being merely competent to knock our socks off and ace this competition. I gave the duo a deserved 9, my high score of the episode.
• Score: 8 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 24/30 Points

Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko—Rumba

• Even considering the fact that Clyde and Elena had to travel across the world to China for the retired basketball player to fulfill a prior commitment, there was just no excusing how dreadful their performance was. The dancing dragged, and Clyde moved as stiffly and, as Carrie Ann always says, “small” as ever. While Clyde appears to be one of the nicest guys alive, it’s time for him to go. I wouldn’t be surprised at all, however, if his obviously large fan base keeps him around for another week or more, despite Carrie Ann’s honest evaluation that Clyde is “the worst dancer in the competition” and Bruno’s quip that the pair’s performance was “like a rumba under an anesthetic.” Len, attempting to offer a more constructive opinion, countered that the couple at least “tried to show us a proper rumba,” but the damage of having sat through it, grimacing nonstop, was already done. My score was a considerate 3.
• Score: 4 (Carrie Ann), 5 (Len), 4 (Bruno) = 13/30 Points

Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts—Samba

• Woops. Week 5 was definitely the performance that Heather haters—and they are plenty—have been waiting for since before Week 1. Although her leg didn’t go flying off across the dance floor, the Brit did lose her balance and fell on her “bum” at the end. Yikes! Add the lengthy footage showing Jonathan as he suffered through getting his abundant chest hair waxed off and this was by far the most painful segment of the whole competition to date. In another first, Heather wore a revealing slant- and high-cut dress that did not even pretend to hide her prosthetic leg. Revealed or not, the manmade limb held up well (until the end, of course) as Heather delivered another solid performance that Carrie Ann called “free-spirited” and Len “great,” while Bruno deemed it worthy of a “disco diva.” It was a 7 for me after subtracting a point for the final mishap (fair is only fair). Now, Heather must work on the upper body strength that all of the judges noted is lacking.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno) = 21/30 Points

Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson—Rumba

• During the rehearsal footage, which featured an appearance by his former ‘N Sync bandmate Lance Bass and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air actor-dancer Alfonso Ribeiro, Joey proclaimed he was not going for laughs, but love in his next performance. Unfortunately, the slower pace worked against the entertainer, accentuating his exaggerated movements until they looked“like caricatures” to Carrie Ann and “too feminine” to Len. Bruno—and apparently the audience members who delivered a rousing standing ovation—disagreed, calling Joey’s gestures “strong and soft.” I awarded the performer, newly dubbed “Have a Go Joe” by the head judge, a 7—Heather was better, but, sadly, she fell.
• Score: 8 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 9 (Bruno) = 25/30 Points

John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska—Samba

• If Ian and Cheryl get my vote for best performance of the show, John and Edyta get it for most fun performance. In a stunning reversal of last week’s icky Paso Doble, John worked the dance floor like he was having the time of his life, forcing me to have the time of mine, too. The overall presentation was infinitely better than in weeks past, and John and his partner entirely deserved the praise they received from all three judges: Bruno thought the couple delivered “one of the best worst Sambas [he had] ever seen,” Carrie Ann fawned after standing in tribute that they “finally had fun on the dance floor,” and Len observed they “captured the carnival spirit.” The very well-done outing garnered a 7 in my score book, tying the pair with Heather & Jonathan and Joey & Kym.
• Score: 6 (Carrie Ann), 6 (Len), 6 (Bruno) = 18/30 Points

Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy—Rumba

• The award for funniest rehearsal footage goes to Maksim and boxer Laila, whose fiancé, hulking former NFL wide receiver Curtis Conway, dropped by to make sure the professional dancer didn’t get too fresh with his woman. Of all the pairs cursed with performing the Rumba, Laila and Maksim achieved the best results. After the moving and polished effort, Carrie Ann declared Laila “the comeback kid,” while dramatic Bruno called her “luscious Laila, but in smoldering form.” Len went even further, stating that Laila’s dancing was the best he had seen from her, a claim he backed up by giving the couple a perfect 10, the first of the night and only the second of the season. I didn’t like the performance that much, but I did think an 8 was in order.
• Score: 9 (Carrie Ann), 10 (Len), 9 (Bruno) = 28/30 Points

Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough—Samba

• Each week, the rehearsal footage shows that Apolo has a much livelier and more engaging personality than I imagined. Nonetheless, Apolomania has me completely befuddled. While I appreciate that the ladies and some men love him because he’s such a cutie, there’s something about his stiff, tense movements while dancing that just prevents his performances from winning me over. His vivacious partner, though, is da bomb, a fact that’s propping up the Olympic speed skater big time; he should thank his lucky stars at every turn. The way the judges gushed over his and Julianne’s routine, however, I had a feeling they were going to pull off this season’s first triple 10s, and I was right. Carrie Ann called it perfection, Len brilliant, and Bruno bewitching. My score was a more reasonable, accurate, and less-than-perfect 8.
• Score: 10 (Carrie Ann), 10 (Len), 10 (Bruno) = 30/30 Points

Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff—Rumba

• In the last performance of the show, poor Billy Ray could not have looked more robotic and confused. Yet, as always, the sheer amount of effort he expends trying to get the moves right makes it darn near impossible to say anything too harsh about the net result. While Len observed that Billy Ray and Karina’s outing lacked romance and Carrie Ann complimented the singer-actor’s arms and toe-leads, I agreed with Bruno’s simple assessment that it just didn’t “happen for me tonight.” The colorful judge and I also both thought the performance merited a 5.
• Score: 6 (Carrie Ann), 6 (Len), 5 (Bruno) = 17/30 Points

Judges’ Leaderboard for Week 5

1. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [30/30—PERFECT SCORE!]
2. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [28/30]
3. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [25/30]
4. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [24/30]
5. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [21/30]
6. John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [18/30]
7. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [17/30]
8. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [13/30]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Week 5

1. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [9/10]
2. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [8/10]
   Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [8/10]
3. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [7/10]
   Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [7/10]
   John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [7/10]
4. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [5/10]
5. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [3/10]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Weeks 1–5

1. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [41/50]
   Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [41/50]
2. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [40/50]
3. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [34/50]
   Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [34/50]
4. John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [29/50]
5. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [24/50]
6. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [21/50]

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Apolo Ohno, Dancing with the Stars, Julianne Hough, reality tv, television, tv

Fortunately, however, the best parts of the third elimination round didn’t involve the totally messed up voting results. Instead, the big props go to Season 2 champ Drew Lachey, who appeared during the first number by country duo Big & Rich to tear up the dance floor with his former co-champion partner Cheryl Burke. Drew’s routine was quite energetic and entertaining, so much so that I initially didn’t even realize he wasn’t yet another guest professional dancer.

Other highlights included co-host Samantha Harris’ announcement that she and her husband are expecting a child, as well as the always funny Jimmy Kimmel segment “Dance Along at Home with Jimmy Kimmel,” which destroyed the Rumba this week. And perhaps in direct response to all of the whining going around now about how supposedly mean the judges are, all three appeared in a lengthy and informative segment about what they look for in the dancers while scoring them. Throw in a couple of excellent one-liners from normally dry-as-ice co-host Tom Bergeron (particularly the one about Bruno’s metallic-looking shirt doubling as a solar reflector in the judge segment) and, all in all, the third elimination round wasn’t too shabby … except for Leeza’s unfair dismissal, of course.

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovolani photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Leeza Gibbons, reality tv, television, Tony Dovolani, tv

Although co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris continue to proclaim that this season has produced the tightest competition in the series’ history, there was little evidence of exceptional quality in the fourth performance episode. In fact, aside from Joey and Kym, none of the couples truly advanced past their prior performance levels, resulting in a quite dull ninety minutes. The two dances on display were the melodramatic, foot-stomping Paso Doble—the dance of the bullfight—and the romantic and graceful Waltz. Before the participants hit the floor, however, head judge Len Goodman put them on notice that because they’re averaging only thirteen hours of practice each week, as compared to the nineteen hours dance partners completed in previous seasons, their mediocre and similar efforts are relegating them to being good dancers instead of great dancers, a distinction that his scores will now reflect. And with that not-so-subtle warning, Len became my favorite judge.

Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy—Paso Doble

• While Laila was as beautiful and competent as ever, the lack of forceful emotion in her dancing kept the pair from making good on their assertions in the rehearsal footage that they would get back on top after the night’s performance. Len called the routine Flamenco, Bruno Tonioli claimed Laila went backwards, and Carrie Ann Inaba advised the boxer to open up and demonstrate more flexibility. All of the comments were spot on and coincided with my identical score of 7.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno) = 21/30 Points

Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough—Waltz

• The elegant Waltz is not a good dance for Apolo due to his general stiffness and lack of fluid motion. As a result, when he performed, it was very obvious from his heavy, clunky movements that he’s an athlete in a sport that requires power and speed, not grace and precision. Nevertheless, the skater is really fortunate he’s partnered with bubbly, lithe Julianne, whose choreography, training, and sunny demeanor have done a good job so far of not only minimizing Apolo’s dancing weaknesses, but maximizing his basic appeal. I’m certain the couple will not take the grand prize, but that won’t be for lack of trying on the parts of Carrie Ann and Bruno, both of whom seem to have a weird, slightly disturbing crush on Apolo, repeatedly gushing praise at him every week. This time it was Bruno claiming the pair were the Dream Team and crowned jewels of the competition, while Carrie Ann jumped up and down—for real; I kid not—like a teenage ditz and called them sophisticated and wonderful. What they see about Apolo that’s so great I don’t, and thankfully neither does Len, who correctly observed that his outing was “riddled with bad footwork.” I gave Apolo and Julianne a 7 because they were no better than Laila and Maksim, and definitely not 9s.
• Score: 9 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 9 (Bruno) = 26/30 Points

Leeza Gibbons/Tony Dovolani—Paso Doble

• Leeza and Tony’s routine marked the beginning of a long, continuous slide into painfully mediocre dancing in the fourth round. The talk show host—who happens to be one of the best-looking 50-year-olds anywhere—could not have been stiffer if she were made of wood, which is hard to accept since she obviously puts forth a full effort during rehearsals. There’s only one explanation, namely that Leeza simply does not have the “it” required to look good while dancing. After the routine, I was certain that she would be the celebrity to go home in the third elimination round … that is, until the next three underwhelming couples, excluding Ian and Cheryl, performed, making the vote-off a true toss-up. Carrie Ann’s comments about Leeza’s perpendicular posture and small movements were thoroughly accurate, as were Len’s triple “dull” assessment (he thought it was her worst performance thus far) and Bruno’s typically florid phrasing accusing the routine of being the “diet version of the Paso Doble.” No matter how much I wish I could have scored her higher, Leeza only got a 5 from me, as well.
• Score: 6 (Carrie Ann), 5 (Len), 5 (Bruno) = 16/30 Points

Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke—Waltz

• It’s hard not to appreciate Ian’s performances, even when they’re average, because he’s clearly devoted to dancing as well as possible. The routine was on the boring side, but that’s the nature of the dance and not the fault of Ian and Cheryl’s interpretation, in my opinion, which is why I gave them an 8. Len criticized Ian’s occasionally bad posture, yet recognized his good work, while Bruno went on about Mr. McDreamy becoming Mr. McStiffy (!—the last phrase can be interpreted so many inappropriate ways, I’m surprised the censors didn’t bleep it out), and Carrie Ann agreed with Bruno for different reasons, reprimanding Ian for not breathing properly. Carrie Ann’s inexplicably low score of 7 after her equally inexplicable high 9 for Apolo further confirms my growing suspicions that she’s got a “thing” for the Olympic medalist.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 9 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 24/30 Points

John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska—Paso Doble

• The only reason I know John and Edyta danced the Paso Doble in the fourth round is because the announcer said so. To be honest, I was too distracted by how mismatched the couple looked, what with Edyta in her slinky, sexy red number and John appearing to be either her grandfather or a very, very dirty old man as he danced laugh-out-loud bad. While the performance was great comic relief, like Carrie Ann, I couldn’t figure out if John was pulling our leg (in which case he succeeded fantastically) or if he was dead serious (in which case I’m a bit embarrassed for him). Good thing, then, that his 91-year-old mother was in the audience to lend her much-needed support. Incidentally, she seemed pleased with her son’s efforts, which is all he probably should care about anyway. The always hilarious (or ridiculous—take your pick) Bruno thought the magic backfired, turning John into a curse, and Len more gracefully observed that the actor was a disaster because some dances just don’t suit people well. I gave John the second 5 of the show, erroneously thinking that things could not get any worse. Then, Clyde Drexler glided onto the dance floor, and I was proved wrong.
• Score: 6 (Carrie Ann), 5 (Len), 5 (Bruno) = 16/30 Points

Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko—Waltz

• Surprise, surprise, surprise—the rehearsal footage showed that former NBA superstar Clyde is lazy, lazy, lazy, regularly yawning his way through practice and arriving late. Maybe that explains why he’s sleepwalking through the competition, obviously not giving a darn about how disinterested he looks. All three of the judges agreed, ripping him a figurative new one over his severely uninspired and uninspiring performances. The best quip came from Carrie Ann, who noted with frustration, “Every bit of choreography you have done looks like the same dance. Are you aware there are different styles for each dance?” And how could I leave out Bruno’s assertion that “there is more romance between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell”? Len concluded the bashing by informing Clyde he should be up there with prior great sports competitors, such as last season’s champion Emmitt Smith and the second season’s runner up Jerry Rice, both former NFL players. Like the head judge, I thought Clyde’s work was only worth a generous 4.
• Score: 6 (Carrie Ann), 4 (Len), 5 (Bruno) = 15/30 Points

Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff—Paso Doble

• Karina apparently became a bit frustrated during rehearsals due to Billy Ray’s difficulty training. All I can say is, considering how poorly he dances (as with Apolo, Leeza, John, and Clyde, he just doesn’t have “it,” although Apolo does the best job of faking “it”), she’s lucky the singer consistently tries so hard to overcome his weaknesses. Billy Ray is possibly the most dedicated competitor on the roster, always deserving an A+ for effort. If only the result of his hard work was better dancing. It’s not, though, and this week I gave him another 6 to match last week’s, the judges’ supportive praise aside.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno) = 21/30 Points

Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts—Waltz

• The rehearsal footage revealed that, contrary to what one might think, slow dances are harder for Heather because they require more balance. The Brit was also concerned about her ability to act out a romantic love story with her dance partner, someone she doesn’t actually love, while keeping a straight face. Well, the first issued was evident during the performance, while the second was not a problem at all. For the first time, Heather seemed unsteady in a routine, and her upper body in particular was surprisingly uncoordinated. I thought she deserved a 7, one point lower than Round 3. Carrie Ann echoed my sentiments that Heather was not as good as usual; yet, Len and Bruno felt her efforts were comparable to her previous work.
• Score: 7 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 23/30 Points

Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson—Paso Doble

• Saving their very best for last, Joey and Kym turned out to be the only couple who lived up to their boasts of exceeding their own past performances. This week, the duo danced the Paso Doble to the theme from Zorro, thankfully sans any gimmicky props or goofy affectations. The result of the new attitude was near perfection, with lots of complicated, coordinated footwork and authoritative, sweeping arm movements that were a 9 all the way for me. The judges recognized the excellence, too. Len noted that the couple “really captured the flavor of [the] dance,” and Carrie Ann awarded them the first 10 of the competition. Team Joey and Kym has truly arrived.
• Score: 10 (Carrie Ann), 9 (Len), 9 (Bruno) = 28/30 Points

Judges’ Leaderboard for Week 4

1. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [28/30]
2. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [26/30]
3. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [24/30]
4. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [23/30]
5. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [21/30]
   Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff[21/30]
6. Leeza Gibbons/Tony Dovolani [16/30]
   John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [16/30]
7. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [15/30]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Week 4

1. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [9/10]
2. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [8/10]
3. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [7/10]
   Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [7/10]
   Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [7/10]
4. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [6/10]
5. Leeza Gibbons/Tony Dovolani [5/10]
   John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [5/10]
6. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [4/10]

tv|jots Leaderboard for Weeks 1–4

1. Joey Fatone/Kym Johnson [34/40]
2. Laila Ali/Maksim Chmerkovskiy [33/40]
3. Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke [31/40]
4. Heather Mills/Jonathan Roberts [27/40]
5. Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough [26/40]
6. Leeza Gibbons/Tony Dovolani [24/40]
7. John Ratzenberger/Edyta Sliwinska [22/40]
8. Billy Ray Cyrus/Karina Smirnoff [19/40]
9. Clyde Drexler/Elena Grinenko [18/40]

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson photo courtesy of ABC

Tags: Dancing with the Stars, Joey Fatone, Kym Johnson, reality tv, television, tv

If you note that the second celebrity in the bottom two last week was a seventh-place Shandi and this week a first-place Leeza Gibbons (albeit in a four-way tie), certain trends start to emerge. First, only female contestants are appearing in the bottom positions during the results shows. Second, only female contestants who are much better than the worst male contestants are appearing in the bottom positions during the results shows.

For the combined Weeks 1 and 2, Clyde and Billy Ray Cyrus were tied for dead-last tenth place among the judges, while in Week 3, John Ratzenberger and Clyde were at last-place fourth and fifth, respectively. Is there some kind of backlash or diabolical concerted effort at work here, or am I imagining things based on coincidence or temporarily lopsided results? I truly hope it’s the latter and the situation will correct itself soon since Dancing with the Stars really doesn’t need any weird Sanjaya-type pathology sullying its reputation this season.

In next Monday’s Round of 9, the remaining competitors will strut their stuff as they dance either the melodramatic Paso Doble or the romantic Waltz. Then, on Tuesday night, another female celebrity will get voted off. (…just kidding! …a little.)

Related Links: Dancing with the Stars Recaps

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8pm EST (performance) and Tuesdays at 9pm EST (results) on ABC.

Shandi Finnessey and Brian Fortuna photo courtesy of ABC