I was pretty bummed yesterday when I realized ABC had pulled the previously scheduled episode of always-fun comedy Better Off Ted in favor of a 20/20 special honoring Michael Jackson. The programming change wasn’t a huge surprise, of course, since Tuesday was the day of Jackson’s big memorial event. However, Better Off Ted was missed, at least in my home.

So, in tribute to one of television’s more entertaining sitcoms, the latest TV Quotable focuses on Better Off Ted and a little exchange that occurs during the June 30 episode “Bioshuffle.”

When a toxic leak invades the administrative section of Veridian Dynamics, employees who work in the area are forced to dig up their cubicle roots and relocate temporarily, including lovely, sarcastic Linda (Andrea Anders).

Her boss Ted (Jay Harrington) understandably doesn’t want to share his spacious office with her because they’ve got this whole inappropriate attraction thing going on. But how can he refuse when Linda barges on in anyway and sets up shop?

Unfortunately, Ted has no idea just how difficult it will be to remain productive in the same room with Linda. Not only do their work styles clash like a ton of bricks hurtling to the ground, but then there’s also the following issue.

Ted stares at Linda’s butt as she bends over doing something.

Linda [turns around and notices before Ted can look away]: Are you staring at my butt?

Ted: Hmm? No, your butt is in my staring place. So, technically, it’s staring at me.

Linda [smiling]: Sorry. It’s from a small town. It’s never seen a big businessman like you before.

Ted [with a dead-serious look on his face]: Well, tell it to act more professional. It’s making a spectacle of itself.

Linda smiles harder and turns back around to bend over in the same position.

Oh, get a room — outside of the office — already!

Gotta give Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) her due props because she’s one smart gal.

On “Walking Back the Cat,” the June 29 episode of TNT’s mega-hit crime drama The Closer, Brenda is caught telling the next in a fairly long series of lies to suspects in the case of a murdered gay man.

When called on the duplicitous behavior by her new husband and veteran FBI agent Fritz Howard (Jon Tenney) after she lays the blatant whammy on a sneaky club owner during an interrogation, the following exchange occurs discretely out in the hallway:

Fritz (angry): Brenda, if the FBI lies in an interview, our case can get thrown out of federal court.

Brenda (shocked): You’re willing to just sit there and let this guy eat bagels and lie up a storm?

Fritz: Well, what would you do differently?

Brenda: When suspects lie to us, we have to lie back. For heaven’s sakes, Fritzy. If we all stop lying to each other, how will we ever find out the truth?

You have to admit that’s certainly one way to look at human nature. Their future kids are going to have a helluva hard time getting away with stuff, though, no?

You gotta love a mom like Sean Garrity’s (Steven Pasquale) chain-smoking, New Jersey-based mother on Rescue Me.

During the June 2 episode “Thaw,” the firefighter gives his mom a call to tell her the bad news about his 9/11 cleanup-induced kidney cancer. As soon as he finishes dropping the bomb, the first thing out of his dear parent’s mouth is:

I always said you didn’t drink enough water.

Who knew preventing cancer was so darn easy?

As the Northeastern United States Experienced a Blustery Winter Storm…

World News anchor Charles Gibson put his finger right on it while opening the March 16 edition of the weeknight news program. I guess astute observations like this are why Gibson has recently emerged as the leader in the ongoing, never-ending Battle of the Evening Newscast Anchors. (The March 19–25 print issue of TV Guide reports that “ABC’s World News With Charles Gibson was the top-rated newscast in February, beating NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams in sweeps for the first time since 1996.” CBS Evening News With Katie Couric placed third, with average ratings of 7.6 million viewers as compared to ABC’s first-place 9.7 million and NBC’s second-place 9.6 million.)

In the 15th Episode of Season 3…

House (Hugh Laurie) to Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein), who thinks he has fatal brain cancer, while hugging her and feeling her derrière at her home late one night before supposedly leaving soon for special treatment at Boston’s Massachusetts General Hospital:

One small feel for man, one giant ass for mankind.

Episode Writer: Lawrence Kaplow
Original Air Date: March 6, 2007

House currently airs Tuesdays on Fox at 9pm EST
House photo courtesy of Fox